Fear plays havoc with our relationships:
We fear that others will react in ways we do not like.
We fear rejection.
We fear that people will not listen.
We fear that they will not be there when we need them.
We fear that they will prevent us from doing what we want.
We fear that if they knew what we were really like inside, they would not want to be with us.
We fear that they might threaten our sense of identity.
And how do we react?
We may not express how we really feel.
We may not tell the truth.
We may manipulate others into behaving in the way we want.
We may think them wrong, blaming them for our fears.
We may be more concerned with proving that we are right than with hearing their point of view.
We may attack them in various subtle, or not-so-subtle, ways, looking for ways to make them fear us.
We may not listen fully. (As soon as we hear something that goes against a cherished belief, the voice in our head tells us where they are wrong and how we should respond -- and as long as we are listening to our own self-talk, we are not really listening to them.)